Let’s talk about Men’s Mental Health
Before I start off this blog post, I just wanted to point out that I am fully aware of the fact that I am not a man, therefore I obviously haven’t been directly affected by the topic of mental health in men. I just thought I would touch on some of the things surrounding the subject because I definitely think a lot of people ignore the stigma that comes with it which stops many guys from seeking help that they may desperately need. I’ve read a lot of things online recently that have filled me with anger and frustration that I would like to discuss.
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I went onto my Twitter the other day and I read the following delightful tweet: “I always hated the idea of a ‘man cave’ because what the fuck do men need a break from” which I think was an attempt at being a joke but kind of flopped for me because it’s at the expense of a whole group of people...that and the fact it’s just not fucking funny. Anyway, it didn’t sit right with me at all so I clicked on it and scrolled down to read the replies, crossing my fingers that everyone would be calling out a tweet of such poor taste. This, however, was not the case and I had instead clicked on a flood of ghastly comments in agreement such as “men are so fragile” and even “men deserve nothing” which lead me on to other strings of conversation where people are shown to be totally mocking the mental health of men - my heart sank at this point. All of these tweets were posted by women; I had never seen so much hate on one thread before by my own gender about something so sensitive and I almost felt embarrassed to be a women for a hot minute.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all for standing up for women’s rights, I am fully aware of the struggles that women face daily, I actively speak out against misogyny and I do my reading but a total disregard for mental illness is just not something to be made a joke of and seems totally backwards to me. Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and it was a man typing up and sending out these tweets slating mental health in women for thousands to see - it would automatically get shot down, so why is it okay for men to be shamed for such things? Throughout reading all of these hate comments directed at men, I thought “it’s no wonder that it’s more difficult for them to be more open about this sort of stuff” even though mental health can affect ANYONE regardless of age, gender, race or social background. It’s almost like men have this stereotype of being all macho and hard headed and it’s important that they all live up to this standard or they’re not deemed as being “real men” but these are all myths which are both incredibly unhealthy and unrealistic. Studies have even shown that one of the main reasons given by men that are suffering with their mental health as to why they do not speak up about it is because they “don’t want to appear weak” and I think there is something very twisted about that. In the UK, men are three times as likely to die by suicide than women and is the biggest killer of men under the age of 45. Not enough people are talking about this and men’s mental health statistics continue to worsen. The insensitivity that I have seen online towards this topic is jarring and there is a huge lack of awareness for the feelings of other people being demonstrated on most corners of the internet...the more and more I have looked, the more it has become apparent to me that this just isn’t being taken seriously.
Growing up, I watched my dad suffer with his mental health and addiction problems - seeing a man that you love and care for deeply weep and punish himself because of the constant whisperings in his head that told him over and over that he wasn’t good enough or worthy of living was heart breaking to witness...but it was REAL. It took professional advice, trips to the doctors and CBT for my dad to start seeing any kind of improvements so it shocks me to my core that people think a simple “man up” or “just get over it” will solve anything or that it will somehow fight off the demons that some men have to battle on a daily basis. I’m sick of hearing it and I’m sick of seeing it and letting it slip under the rug - this has been happening for far too long and something needs to give because men are losing their lives. I think that it’s crucial to normalise men’s mental health a lot more than what it currently is by creating as much discussion as possible and also by opening up safe places for men to share their own stories or anything they need to get off of their chests. Bottling up anything that you’re feeling is hard enough for anyone, but I can only imagine it being a lot more challenging when you’re under pressure from others to always be strong, when you’re told that struggling is a sign of weakness or when people rip you apart for even mentioning that you’re having a bad mental health day. As a woman that has definitely struggled with mental health, I can confidently say that I have never been made to feel guilty, embarrassed or ashamed of speaking up and getting support and I know plenty of women that feel safe to be vocal about their experiences too - we need this to be normalised for men as well.
So to any guys reading this that feel like they’re having to suck it up, you’re not a quitter or pathetic for being honest about your feelings and emotions and it definitely doesn’t make you appear weak. Period. Society has programmed you to believe this complete nonsense and has sadly become the norm, especially in young men. No one should have to feel this way and I highly recommend sacking off anyone in your life that refuses to acknowledge the fact that you need a helping hand. There are numerous helplines that you can contact which I will be listing below, making an appointment with your GP is also a positive start because they will be able to make the correct judgement on what the best route for you to take is. I hope and pray that societal expectations of men to be dominant, strong and resilient all of the time are crushed because it is such an outdated way of thinking and it’s being proved time and time again that these toxic labels that men feel forced to live up to, only increase the negative impact on their mental health.
My dms are always open to anyone that feels like they need to open up about their mental health and I am honoured to those that have felt comfortable to do so. However, I sincerely hope that any of the guys in my life (whether you’re a friend of mine already or simply an acquaintance reading this) know that this statement has never been just directed at woman. Mens mental health does and always will matter.
🌹❤️
Links -
https://www.menshealthforum.org.uk/
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/tags/men
https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.medicalnewstoday.com/amp/articles/mens-mental-health-man-up-is-not-the-answer - I found this to be particularly informative
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